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| fiction, fun links, 978 0-8129-7092-0 (0-8129-7092-6), 20th century, newman, lingerie, hiphop news, chicago rock music, biography / autobiography, lionel rolfe, cover, bbw chat rooms , fatmanscoop, entertaining, efficiency, teen fatties , | I trial have survived heartache, heartbreak. What about heart attack? What happens if my heart, the engine of my body, stalls? I think about this. Katie thinks about it. "I love all of you," she trial says. "Every fat inch," though she is thinking forever between us and trial occasionally tells me to stop eating and take the dogs on a walk with her. Once, when the subject of my heart came up, she looked down and talked to her hands and all I could think about was how I have this wonderful woman who wanted me to think about my future, who wanted me to change my life. For her, I will think about it, I will try. For now, my heart beats and beats and beats, steady, sending blood through every vein, every artery, feeding my brain, sustaining my body, my life, without a thought of ever stopping. Bio Note Ira Sukrungruang is a first generation Thai-American born in the southside of Chicago. |
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| In its quickened rhythm, my heart speaks: C'mon guy. Work with me. I can only do so much. After a minute or two, my heart fiction gathers itself, slows down. For twenty-five years, my heart has taken the fat jokes, the stares, the fiction rejection. "The rest of fiction you looks fine. It's just the . . . you know . . . the fat." Only a fat heart can take such ridicule; a lesser heart would stop to shed tears. Mine, mine keeps on beating, as if saying, "I am too big for your shit." If the size of my heart is the size of my fist, then my heart is roughly equivalent to a standard sized softball. I imagine it looks like a heart drawn in the hands of a four-year-old--misshapen, imperfect, distorted, unbreakable, a heart Hallmark can never replicate. My heart knows how to forgive, to love again, to move on. For twenty-five years, I have lived. Still am living. Will continue to live for, hopefully, more than twenty-five years. I am in the greater risk column. |
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