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As far old fat camel toe as I could tell, everything was old fat camel toe as it should be. I moved the blade with my old fat camel toe hand and it was all free and clear. I shrugged and pulled the cord again, and finished two-thirds of the front yard, when it began really making a clanking racket. It sounded like an extended mix of a Ministry song. Neighbors were in their yards looking on with concern. Then it bogged down and began losing power, and finally shut off. I rolled it over to the driveway and gave the cord another tug, but it just came out with no resistance. It was like pulling a string out of a box. And it had no effect on the motor whatsoever. I flipped it over again, and the blade was a free agent. I gave it a spin and it went round and round like a pinwheel. What in the honeybaked hell?! I went inside and called my Dad. (Yes, I'm forty, what of it?) He listened to my description of the problem, asked a few questions, paused a couple of seconds, and rendered his verdict: "I think it's time to buy a new lawnmower."
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