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"It says it right fat girl in thong there on the sign, buddy. No backpacks!!" he hollered, after telling the backpackless patrons to enjoy the game. I told him I was sorry I couldn't read the sign from the parking lot, but I fat girl in thong got the feeling he wasn't fat girl in thong interested in anything I had to say. He thrust a fistful of clear plastic bags into my hand, and told me to remove everything from my backpack. "Take everything out and put it in these bags, then roll up the backpack itself and put it in another bag," he ordered, in a disgusted tone. And I did as I was told. I kept repeating in my head: Major League baseball, Major League baseball... With my idiotic collection of sacks in hand, we began sprinting again, in an effort to keep up with Mr. Philly, who had already taken off like a rocket in search of our seats.
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