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And I did as I was told. I kept repeating in my head: anal fat old tight Major League baseball, Major League baseball... With my idiotic collection of sacks in hand, we began sprinting again, in an effort to keep up with Mr. Philly, who had anal fat old tight already taken off like a rocket in search of our seats. Fuck. What's with this guy? We finally got situated, and the tickets were, as predicted, excellent. Here was our view. I just sat there for a few minutes, catching my breath and allowing the fire engine hue of my face to subside a bit. I anal fat old tight exchanged knowing glances with another poor schmuck carrying the Plastic Bags of Disgrace, and that made me feel a little better. At least I wasn't alone; I had brothers there. The game was great. The teams wore vintage uniforms, the Braves from '74 and the Phillies from '80, and Atlanta ultimately won -- as it should be.
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