"The rest of you cartoon images without starvation

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los alamos, garmin, chatterbox cafe, nuclear triad, sean jean, , cuisine, without starvation, nickname, pop rap, pawan, videographer, weight reduction, pg 13, liame, penguin new zealand, global positioning system, out of-print book, jon devries, by troy ward, fatman, vocational guidance, 2002, the metro, I am in the greater risk column. I have survived heartache, heartbreak. What about heart attack? What happens cartoon images if my heart, the engine of my body, stalls? cartoon images I think about this. Katie thinks about it. "I love all of you," she says. "Every fat inch," though she is thinking cartoon images forever between us and occasionally tells me to stop eating and take the dogs on a walk with her. Once, when the subject of my heart came up, she looked down and talked to her hands and all I could think about was how I have this wonderful woman who wanted me to think about my future, who wanted me to change my life. For her, I will think about it, I will try. For now, my heart beats and beats and beats, steady, sending blood through every vein, every artery, feeding my brain, sustaining my body, my life, without a thought of ever stopping.
"The rest of you looks fine. without starvation It's just the . . . you know . . . the fat." Only a fat heart can take such ridicule; a lesser heart would stop to shed tears. Mine, mine keeps on beating, as if saying, "I am too big for your shit." If the size of my heart is the size of my fist, then my without starvation heart is roughly equivalent to a standard without starvation sized softball. I imagine it looks like a heart drawn in the hands of a four-year-old--misshapen, imperfect, distorted, unbreakable, a heart Hallmark can never replicate. My heart knows how to forgive, to love again, to move on.       For twenty-five years, I have lived. Still am living. Will continue to live for, hopefully, more than twenty-five years.
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